I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
