They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize