so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
