she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
BRING THE BAGELS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
