He is such a slut. More and more my type.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
