no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
