Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am puke
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
