Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
