ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize