he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
