i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
