sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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