I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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