And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
