shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
