is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
