Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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