I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
