i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
