We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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