member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
