i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hippo gnu deer
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
