While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
