I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
