Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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