Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
