if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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