I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize