When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
high people should be assigned attendants
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
