Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
