I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
