she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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