This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
