I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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