Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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