He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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