Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
