everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize