Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
