I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
