ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I didn't notice because vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
