Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
