I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
