You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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