Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
why do cheetos always look like penises
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
