True but thats because hes a fetus.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
