Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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