normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
