Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
