So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
