Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Every concussion has its silver lining
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
