Non-Jews are for practice
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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