Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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