We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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