i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize