Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
