I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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