Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
