Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
