I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
