yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
