my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
