no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
